How do you love someone who deprives you of sleep so badly that you run into walls in the middle of the night? How do you love someone who needs you endlessly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? How do you love someone who threatens to tear off particularly sensitive parts of your body while he is eating? How do you love someone who has turned your whole entire life upside down? How do you love someone who you can't even remember doing anything without planning on when that person ate, slept, and pooped last? My answer....how do you not?
The benefits of having a child make me wonder why someone would choose not to have one on purpose. Despite the difficult times, and trust me, there have been many, I can't even imagine my life without my son. I have never loved someone the way that I love him, and nothing in life can compare to the joy that one little man brings into our lives. Some of you know from being in close personal contact with us that Porter is not the easiest of babies, and I suppose I'm just beginning to admit that to myself. When the doctor said "colic" I was actually a little defensive and I thought she might be a little nuts. MY baby? No way. I have since humbled myself...he really is a handful...
This being said...you'd think that one may have a hard time being as excited about a baby who is cranky most of the time, and who requires endless hours of soothing. Not so. I am obsessed. I'm actually pretty sure he is the greatest thing on the face of this whole planet. Call me crazy. I am obsessed with his little smiles that we work harder for than most parents, I think. I am thrilled when we get a 4 hour stretch of sleep at night, and I think he's a genius for it despite all the other babies his age sleeping 6 or 7. I get a rush every morning when he opens his big blue eyes and I get to start another day with him, despite being up all night. I just love him. I appreciate my parents more now knowing how much love I am capable of having for another human.
I guess I was just feeling sentimental about my little boy tonight as I ever-so-gently put him in his crib. I love being a mom. I LOVE being his mom.